The Other Side to the Proverbs 31 Woman

A Wife of Noble Character

10 Who can find a virtuous and capable wife?
    She is more precious than rubies.
11 Her husband can trust her,
    and she will greatly enrich his life.
12 She brings him good, not harm,
    all the days of her life.
13 She finds wool and flax
    and busily spins it.
14 She is like a merchant’s ship,
    bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up before dawn to prepare breakfast for her household
    and plan the day’s work for her servant girls.
16 She goes to inspect a field and buys it;
    with her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She is energetic and strong,
    a hard worker.
18 She makes sure her dealings are profitable;
    her lamp burns late into the night.
19 Her hands are busy spinning thread,
    her fingers twisting fiber.
20 She extends a helping hand to the poor
    and opens her arms to the needy.
21 She has no fear of winter for her household,
    for everyone has warm[c] clothes.
22 She makes her own bedspreads.
    She dresses in fine linen and purple gowns.
23 Her husband is well known at the city gates,
    where he sits with the other civic leaders.
24 She makes belted linen garments
    and sashes to sell to the merchants.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity,
    and she laughs without fear of the future.
26 When she speaks, her words are wise,
    and she gives instructions with kindness.
27 She carefully watches everything in her household
    and suffers nothing from laziness.
28 Her children stand and bless her.
    Her husband praises her:
29 “There are many virtuous and capable women in the world,
    but you surpass them all!”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty does not last;
    but a woman who fears the Lord will be greatly praised.
31 Reward her for all she has done.
    Let her deeds publicly declare her praise. 

Proverbs 31:10-31 (NLT)

Growing up in church, we heard about the Proverbs 31 woman and were encouraged that she was the model for Christian young women.  In fact, young men were told to seek out this woman in their own future wives.  We had heard many sermons and had done many bible studies about her virtues.  Needless to say, we developed a picturesque view of this lady.  We equated the Proverbs 31 woman to our own mothers, and it motivated us even more to want to match her characteristics.  But as we have been praying more recently, God has led us to another side of her.  God has shown us another viewpoint of this woman that is often seen as the standard for women in the Church.

Unlike many of the noble women in the Bible, the Proverbs 31 woman actually does not exist.  We do not point this out to say that her character is to be overlooked because she isn’t real, but rather to remember when holding ourselves to her standard that this woman never actually existed.  Through prayer and research we wanted to categorize the characteristics that the Proverbs 31 woman had in order to try and see what was mentioned most.  In other words, what did the author of this passage want us to know best about this woman based on how many times it was said?

In order to categorize based upon the pure language, we used the categories already set forth in the scripture.  For example, verse 13 says the woman is “more precious than rubies.”  So we made that a category.  Anytime something like that was mentioned throughout the remaining scripture we would tally up the times mentioned.  Here are the categories we saw, and a number of how many times they were mentioned throughout:

  1. Precious than rubies (v. 13) – 1 time mentioned

  2. Energetic (v. 17) – 1 time mentioned

  3. Mother (v. 28) – 1 time mentioned

  4. Well-dressed (v. 22) – 1 time mentioned

  5. God-fearing (v. 30) – 1 time mentioned

  6. Virtuous and capable (v. 13; 29) – 2 times mentioned

  7. Wise (v. 18; 26) – 2 times mentioned

  8. Strong/strength (v. 17; 25) – 2 times mentioned

  9. Hospitable/kind (v. 20; 26) – 2 times mentioned

  10. Fearless (v. 21; 25) – 2 times mentioned

  11. Praiseworthy (v. 28; 30; 31) – 3 times mentioned

  12. Wife (v. 11; 12; 23; 28) – 4 times mentioned

  13. Homemaker/caregiver (v. 14; 15; 19; 21; 22; 27) – 6 times mentioned

  14. Hardworking/not lazy (v. 13; 15; 16; 17; 18; 19; 24; 27) – 8 times mentioned

When we tallied up the results, we could not believe what we had found!  The theme that was mentioned most was the fact that this woman was hardworking and not lazy.  This really blew our minds because unfortunately we had never noticed how many times that side of her was mentioned.  Not only were there 8 verses that pointed to her hardworking personality, but actually 5 of those 8 verses could be interpreted as the woman working for dealings outside the home:

Vs. 13 “she finds wool and flax and busily spins it.”

Vs. 16 “she goes to inspect a field and buys it; with her earnings she plants a vineyard”

Vs.18 “she makes profitable her dealings and her lamp burns late into the night.”

Vs. 19 “her hands busy spiny spinning thread her fingers twisting fiber.”

Vs. 24 “she makes belted linen garments and sashes to sell to the merchants.”

The author’s intentions with this can’t be determined with full certainty, but it is clear that the work ethic of this woman was an important point.  So important that it was mentioned more than any of her other characteristics.  We felt it was God’s way of showing that he puts value on women who exemplify hard work outside the home, as well as those who work in their own households.  Either way the Proverbs 31 woman is, in fact, a woman of hardworking integrity.

Seeing this woman through a new lens we started to view specific scriptures differently.  Verse 11 discusses the fact that this woman’s husband had confidence in her.  Having read this several times before, it was a verse that could easily be overlooked, but this verse may deserve more attention.  Confidence is the key word in verse 11 (NIV version).  Her husband trusted her, and by trusting her he entrusted things to her in regards to their household.  Her husband was not intimidated by her strength and intelligence, but rather he knew she was an equal partner to him. 

Verse 15 also supported this interpretation when the verse spelled out the fact that the woman “provides” for her family (NIV version).  Not only does she cook or prepare the meals for her family, but she could actually be considered a partner with her husband in providing income to pay for the meal.  Further, in verse 15 this woman is described as managing her servant girls.  Praying about this we felt like this verse described the Proverbs 31 woman as a leader.  She was in a leadership position and had employees who worked for her.  This was certainly something we hadn’t noticed before. 

Ultimately after studying further about the Proverbs 31 woman our minds and hearts were truly opened.  We discovered so much about this woman that we had not heard before.  God has put different things on all of his daughter’s hearts, but the important thing to remember is that we are all, in fact, his daughters first and foremost.  And that wherever we are, or whatever we are doing, we are working for Christ alone.  Some women are called to stay at home with their children, some women are called to work in the church, and some women are even called to careers.  The Proverbs 31 woman exemplified many faces of the Wife of Noble Character, all of which are seen as equally pleasing to the Lord.

So burn that midnight oil, get up before dawn, and laugh without fear of the future.  Your goals are more precious than rubies, your energy will not be wasted.  For when you follow in Christ’s path, the journey is promised to be long and you must work hard.  You must work hard for the Lord.   But like it states in Proverbs 31:31, in the end you receive your “reward for all you have done.  And your deeds will publicly be declared for praise.”  For you, indeed, surpass them all.